What is Game?
That is it!
The amount of reference experiences that you’ve had.
The different kinds of reference experiences that you’ve had.
And all of the lessons that you’ve taken and learned from them.
If I gave you the same exact reference experiences that I’ve had in the past, you would be standing exactly where I’m standing right now in terms of success with women in general.
So… First of all,
WHAT EXACTLY ARE REFERENCE EXPERIENCES?
The way that I would like to define them for the purpose of this article is that they are the different kinds of experiences that your mind bases itself on in order to make certain assumptions about the world around you.
They are the material evidence that reinforce the certain belief structures that you have.
And without having these reference experiences you would not have the right mental proof to backup anything that your mind tries to interpret or believe in.
This is what it really comes down to in terms of changing yourself as a person and the internalization of new beliefs and new assumptions.
Tipping that balance from having more reference experiences that reinforce negative assumptions to having more reference experiences that reinforce positive assumptions.
This is the process of learning how to be successful with women in general.
THE PROCESS OF INTERNALIZATION.
Whenever someone is trying to internalize any new type of idea or concept that is not part of who they are or what they believe in yet, it will never be fully implemented in in their mind until they experience it for themselves in real life.
Until they have that reference experience that mentally reinforces it.
It’s not until you live it through your own first hand experience that you will finally understand it.
You could even be reading this article right now and you could be telling yourself: “Yes, this makes perfect sense to me.” But it’s not until you actually experience this for yourself that it will be internalized.
It’s only when you have that moment of: “Oh, so this is what he meant when he said that!” that the reference experience is now synced with the idea or concept at hand.
SO WHAT DOES THIS MEAN TO YOU?
What all of this should really make you realize is that the only way that someone can actually get success with women is by accumulating as many reference experiences as possible and over the shortest period of time possible, that reinforce specific belief structures that they have in their mind.
And that of course, anyone can do this.
It should make you realize that everyone is cut from the same cloth.
The only difference is the amount of experiences gathered to implement and internalize the different behavioral patterns and beliefs that characterize people the way that they are.
This is why I previously mentioned that if I were to give you the exact same reference experiences that I’ve had over the years, I could guarantee you that you would be standing exactly where I’m standing right now in terms of success with women in general.
But that is only the NURTURE part of it all.
SO WHAT ABOUT THE NATURE PART OF ALL OF THIS?
The nature part of all of this is having that emotional leverage and motivation to proactively seek out those reference experiences all on your own and through your own willpower.
It’s the process of doing it and learning from it.
To proactively put yourself into the situations that you will learn from the most and that will give you the most evidence to support and reinforce everything that you’ve heard, read or seen about success with women.
Taking that right action no matter what you’re feeling and no matter what the circumstances are at the time and knowing exactly which lessons to take from it all.
And I think that this is probably one of the hardest things to actually achieve as well as one of the main reasons why most people tend to stagnate or even end up giving up at this.
They aren’t able to cultivate enough willpower to proactively put themselves into these new kinds of situations that will challenge and change their realities.
They fail to actually develop that emotional muscle by continuously taking right action.
If someone puts a gun to your head and asks you what the right thing to do is at that moment in time, you will always know the answer.
We know that we have to approach.
We know that we have to challenge yourselves.
We know that we have to accumulate as many reference experiences as possible.
Yet to actually do the right thing is sometimes close to impossible.
And this is because our mental balance is showing more negative reference experiences than positive reference experiences. We have more reference experiences backing up negative assumptions of the world around us than reference experiences backing up positive assumptions.
SO HOW CAN YOU CHANGE ALL OF THIS?
By positively focusing on the learning process.
One of the mindsets that I’ve always had and that I think has tremendously helped me in this area is that I realized early on that in the end it really all comes down to what I’ve learned.
Nothing else matters, at all.
There are no good or bad reference experiences, only different lessons that you can take from them.
I was never afraid to take that right action because I had realized that you learn just a much from a good night out as from a bad night out.
That you learn just a much from a good reaction from the women that you’re interacting with as from a bad reaction.
The only thing that you should be focusing on at all times are the lessons that you’ve learned.
The rest does not matter.
And I think that just by making this realization, so many success barriers are removed from the equation.
You realize that there really is nothing holding you back from achieving all of this yourself.
TAKE IT EASY…
Someone recently asked me during one of my Free Tour speeches in Europe: “How long did it take you to get good at this?”
And to tell you the truth, I did not know what to say in answer to this question…
With this realization and particular mental shift that I talked about here, is there ever going to be any end goal to all of this?
A journey with a destination?
No, and you’re not going to want it to have one either.
When you start thinking in terms of reference experiences is anyone really better than anyone else?
Is a five year old child better than a two year old child because he walk and talk, for example?
No, he’s just had those extra three years of reference experiences allowing him to do so. And the same applies with an eight year old child that will have the same amount of extra years of experience on the five year old child.
There will never be an end goal to any of this, only continual progress and self densification.
Moving forward towards the limits of what is possible.
Everyone is also on their own path.
No one should ever be asking themselves:
“Where do I stand in comparison to him?”
“Is this person better than this person?”
“When will I finally be good at this?”
I’ve always only been focused on myself and where I stand in comparison to my own standards and kept moving forward from that. This is also one of the ways that you become internally centered and grounded in your own reality.
I realized that what all of this really comes down to is reference experiences and I set myself out to proactively accumulate as many as possible.
You’re on your own path and seeking out the right reference experiences that you specifically need at that moment in time.
Enjoy the journey.