Taking On Your Role As A Man As Opposed To Taking On The Woman’s Role!


What’s up!

I just got back from another successful Free Tour / Hot Seat 2 / Bootcamp in Paris this time, where my game just reached a whole other level!

I wrote an article that I posted up on my Blog a while back, that’s entitled:

Densifying Your Personality: How I Learned Game REVEALED

And what I had previously explained in this article is that the way that I tend to progress in terms of dating and success with women isn’t linear, at all.

There isn’t any kind of linear progression where you just start learning one new thing after the other.

Instead of trying to self-actualize your current identity by learning something new, you’re trying to densify different aspects of your personality that you already have.

And when you’re learning and progressing in this way, there usually tends to be one aspect of your personality that overrules the others at different times and that you really work on and take it to it’s limits.

The last one being Self-Amusement, for me personally.

And what I’m excited to finally be able to share with you today is that I’ve now reached what I think is the next level for me, which is going to be geared towards being more dominant and centered as a man.

Or as some people also call it, putting on your “Big Boy Pants” ;]

I spoke in depth about this with Derek when he was with me in Amsterdam a few weeks ago as well and I’m really looking forward to breaking all of this down and sharing it with you very, very soon…

Until then, here are the dates for some of my next events!

April 19 – 21, 2012: London, United Kingdom (taught with Ozzie)
April 26 – 28, 2012: Copenhagen, Denmark (taught with Ozzie)
May 3 – 5, 2012: Boston (taught with Tyler)
May 17 – 19, 2012: Austin (taught with Tyler)

www.rsdfreetour.com / www.rsdhotseat.com / www.rsdbootcamp.com

So, what I want to take the time and share with you today are a few recent thoughts that I’ve had about TAKING ON THE MAN’S ROLE IN THE INTERACTION AS OPPOSED TO TRYING TO TAKE ON THE WOMAN’S ROLE INSTEAD.

Taking on your role as a man by being centered in your own reality and taking all of the responsibility for the interaction as opposed to taking on the woman’s role and basking in the good emotions that you’re experiencing by being the one who’s reacting to her.

A lot of people are just waiting to be put on by the woman that they’re interacting with. 

They want the woman to take all of the responsibility for the interaction that they’re having and basically make it all happen for them.

They don’t want to exert any more effort than they have to and they’re afraid of having any kind of pressure put on them, at all.

Even when you’re first starting to get into all of this, we all have hopes that once we learn how to start a conversation with a woman and build a little a bit of attraction that she’s going to take it from there.

That there’s going to be some point where we can then just relax and go back to our default identity that isn’t self-actualized nor attractive to woman in general. .

And I’m sure that you went through this as well at some point, as have I…

But what we don’t realize is that by being in this kind of mindset, we’re trying to take on the woman’s role in the interaction instead of taking on our own role as a man.



Ask yourself, what exactly do you want out of the interactions that you’re having?

A lot of people just want to experience good emotions from the women that they’re interacting with.

That’s all that they want!

And this isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but their criterion for experiencing those good emotions is usually skewed.

They’re basing their criterion for success on external stimulus.

Are you basing your criterion for success on the reactions that you’re getting or are you basing it on the actions that you’re taking?

Are you looking at external stimulus to feel those good emotions or are you looking at internal fulfillment?

Your criterion should be based on your own actions and the fulfillment that you feel when you’re doing what you want to be doing at that moment in time.

You should never be looking at the environment that’s around you expecting to be fueled with those positive emotions. You should be the one who’s generating those emotions from within.

This is one of the main differences between taking value and offering value. And this is something that will skew your results with women as well.

Women will never be attracted by a man who is trying to get her to fuel him with those good emotions.

You have to switch your criterion for success from being based on the reactions that you’re getting to being based on the actions that you’re taking.

I wrote an article about this a few weeks ago as well, that’s entitled:

FREEDOM FROM OUTCOME: How To Get Girls To React To You!

A lot of people also want to be the ones who are reacting to the women that they’re interaction with.

Ask yourself, what does a woman want when a man approaches her and starts interacting with her?

She wants to know who he is as a person and what he’s about.

What is his reality like?

Is he someone who offers value to her is he someone who takes value from her?

She wants to get to know who he is by experiencing him as a person.

And the only way that you can accomplish this is by letting her be the one who’s REACTING TO YOU!

She is not going to be getting to know you as a person if she is not reacting you to. You cannot be the one who’s reacting to her!

You cannot try to take on the woman’s role in the interaction.

If you’re the one who’s reacting to her by wanting her to fuel you with that external stimulus then she’s not going to be getting to know you as a person.

She’s not going to be experiencing your reality.

Taking on your role as a man in the interaction means that you’re going to have to start taking all of the responsibility for the interaction and becoming that source of grounding energy that she can ping off of and experience emotionally.

There is no other way for her to get to know you.

Get used to this new reality!

Women will never want to be with someone who isn’t assuming his own reality as a man.

When you’re asking a girl to be with you, you’re basically asking her to bet her own life on you.

Her survival and reproduction chances are being entirely placed on you and on how strong of a reality you have.

Will she be able to trust you and be at ease with you protecting her in any type of situation?

Will she be able to trust you with her life?

Would you bet your life on someone who isn’t asserting his own reality on the world?

Of course not!

You have to take on the man’s role in the interaction in order to get the kind of success that you want with women in general. You cannot try to take on the woman’s role instead.


  1. Scottie April 10, 2012 at 2:38 pm - Reply

    Thanks Uncle Julien. Learning a lot.

  2. Tibo April 16, 2012 at 2:27 pm - Reply

    Interesting though i don’t agree, from a fact analysis with the idea of the alpha male, i reallu think this idea is too wildy accepted and not suestionned enough. I’ve looked to all my friends couples and i can counted that around 60 % of the couples around me the alpha male is the girl acutally, not the guy !!!

    Please look better at real life couples situation and you’ll realize actually few couples really are alpha male driven : girls also want control !!

  3. erwinA May 5, 2012 at 4:12 pm - Reply

    Awesome Julien! I think that this is really spot on of how chodes differ. They are being so nice, and laughing to everything to what a girl is saying. Everything to get her approval. Then they are asking boring questions to get the conversation going, instead of just owning it and leading the interaction.

    Answer to Tibo: put a real alpha male in front of these boring ass couples, and let’s see which man the girl chooses. Her “girlfriend” stuttering for her attention, or someone like Julien…

  4. bill June 14, 2012 at 9:48 pm - Reply

    very advanced supplication

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